When you first break up with your ex and realize the relationship as ended, your first reaction may be to call your ex and beg. This should be avoided if you want to get back with your ex. In most cases, this immediate act of desperation will only push your ex further away. Both you and your ex need some time to analyze why you broke up. Although getting your ex back is complicated, you should follow these steps.

You need to take time away from your ex to examine the relationship and why it failed. You should look honestly at your ex and yourself. Was the breakup a result of something your ex did or were you responsible? If you feel your ex is the reason for the split, do you think they are willing and capable of change? If you feel the breakup is a result of something you did, are you willing to change? If you truly want to get back with your ex you need to be willing to change. You must be able to change the actions or words that led to the breakup. You must be honest in answering these tough questions.

After you have taken the time to analyze yourself, your relationship and your ex, it is time to begin opening communication with your ex. You should first try to contact them by phone. This is generally easier than starting with a face-to-face meeting. Simply let you ex know that you miss them and would like to honestly and openly discuss the relationship.

You must remain calm in during this open communication. If you get angry or argumentative you will drive your ex further away. It may be difficult to get through this call given all the emotions you are experiencing. If you took the time necessary to reflect on your relationship, there should be no surprises.

You need to understand the feelings of your ex. The only way to do this is by intently listening to what he/she is saying. Once the conversation is started you should spend more time listening then talking. This lets your ex know that you are serious about reconciliation. It may take more than one conversation to clear the air, make sure you always plan the next communication before you end. A simple can I call you tomorrow works just fine.

This simple outline should give you some ideas on how to get back with your ex. The key to the whole process is honesty. You must be honest to yourself and to your ex. Best of luck on getting back with your ex.

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