This point of view may be unexpected. Shouldn’t we look at the past to figure out the problems? Won’t this help us figure out the right things to keep from breaking up again?

The answers: No, no, no, and again, no.

You don’t need to become some sort of weird relationship forensic examiner to get your ex back. In fact, that kind of focus on the past is often problematic.

In the first place, dwelling on the past can be counterproductive. With all the thoughts and details from the past, you can get so overwhelmed that you don’t take action.

Second, more than likely the reasons for the breakup probably don’t have much to do with the problems you’ll dredge up and over-analyze. Usually there are many factors in a breakup that combine to create a certain situations under a particular set of circumstances.

In the third place, focusing on problems in the past leads to a counterproductive problem/solution mindset. Instead of looking at the big picture that can actually bring a man back into your life, you spend time trying to come up with systems that help to solve small problems. Your time could be better spent elsewhere and your solutions probably won’t work anyway.

The past is already done. History offers some good information and it can have a big impact on our lives. In the end, the past doesn’t have to govern us.

The reasons you broke up don’t really matter. The thing that now matters is the steps you’ll take to get together again. This is where your focus should be-on taking the right actions that will improve your future.

Those who let their relationship past get them down have a tough time when it comes to getting their ex back after breaking up. Couples who succeed figure out that the past should stay in the past.

Don’t let your past bog you down. If you want to get back with your boyfriend, you can do it. Don’t worry about what happened before. Keep your focus on the future.

To get your ex boyfriend back with you, sign up for Clark’s popular free newsletter Ex Boyfriend Back. Also check out his tips and hints on his blog Ex Boyfriend Back.

You can avoid further deteriorating feelings and being to mend broken fences, by offering an apology. This needs to be an apology so good it will be impossible for your ex not to take you back. You really need to put a lot of thought into this.

This is not an apology that should come at the spur of the moment. This needs to be well planned, honest and heartfelt. You can’t bluff your way through this one. In this apology, you will first need to outline what you did wrong. Admitting your mistakes is the first step. You then need to let your ex know what you are going to do so the problems don’t arise in the future. Finally, you need to ask for forgiveness.

You should also be prepared to listen to your ex. You should give them time to express their feelings and concerns. This demonstrates that you ware willing to have an open line of communication. Your spouse may bring up hurt feelings or unresolved issues; you must work through these in a conversational manner. You need to remain calm and determined to resolve these issues.

You need to keep the focus on you and not on anything your ex has done. It is best if you avoid use of the word but as this tends to negate anything said before. Your ex will perceive this as your blaming them.

You need to be mindful of both your and your ex’s body language. Body language may tell you more about how they are receiving your message then the words they are using. You can find a lot of information on body language on the internet.

Before you even approach your ex to give this apology, you need to have taken some time in honest reflection. You should have a good idea of why the relationship failed and the changes you must make if it is to be restored. You may want to get honest input from a friend or family member to get an outsider’s view. You can not give a heartfelt apology until you have done this sole searching.

Chose your words carefully and mean what you say. This is not the last conversation before your relationship can be restored, but it should begin to rebuild the trust.